secret box 2

it is good to know you are happy

cause it proves i will be happier

we are who we are

you must think i am heartless

you must think i am cold and selfish

you must think i am a stupid bitch

you must think i am down to the lowest low

you must think i am a loser

you must think i deserve nothing

you must think i have no future

well...

you must think that i am so much like you

BITCH!

'sweet little dream'

out of the blue

she yelled and screamed at me

and i said i love you

she slapped me hard

and i said i love you

she kicked me

as i fell i said i love you

she throwed the cat on my face

meow and again i said i love you

she stabbed me with the kitchen knife

bleeding i said i love you

she spit at me and another stab came

and i said i love you

as i opened my eyes

everything was dark

and she is dead

preminiscence

Jakarta, 31 July 2005

i am sorry mama
i never meant to hurt you
i never meant to make you cry
but tonight
i am cleaning out my closet

eminem

sometimes...

it is better to love from a distant

than to rot with hatred

next to each other

get out of your shell!

you smell bad

you fucking stink

i feel so sorry for you

but why dont you help yourself for once

wake up and look around you

beautiful life surrounds you

and i still love you, Daddy...

i ain't no soldier

flying bullets, scattered bombs

and i am caught in the middle

no time to retreat

no chance to escape

no place to hide

and i am no soldier

only one good hope in mind

dear bullet

please hit me in the head

don't leave me dying

let me go fast and clean

mocking bird - eminem

Now hush little baby,

don't you cry

Everything's gonna be alright

Stiffen that upperlip up little lady,

i told yaDaddy's here to hold ya through the night

I know mommy's not here right now

and we don't know why

We feel how we feel inside

It may seem a little crazy, pretty baby

But i promise momma's gon' be alright

And if you ask me too

Daddy's gonna buy you a mockingbird

I'mma give you the world

I'mma buy a diamond ring for you

I'mma sing for you

I'll do anything for you to see you smile

And if that mockingbird don't sing and that ring don't shine

I'mma break that birdies neck

I'll go back to the jeweler who sold it to ya

And make him eat every carat don't fuck with dad

ps. i want my daddy...

love: sweet like chocolate

however sweet a chocolate

if it brings migraine

it losses its means

however sweet love is

if it brings pain

it loses its meanings

my day my way

i crave for moments of joy & love

not an endless yearning of forever

let me meet see the world

don't put me on a corner

a corner is safe

but i prefer a cycle

where i can take my rides

to destinations and destinies

may it be great or sucks

i want to see and feel it all

want to join my ride?

you'd better believe in rainbows over dark clouds

firenze

i arrive last summer

now it is another summer

i will be leaving soon

and have no desire to stay for more

though i know i will miss you

you are better off as a memory

a good memory

always

pisces, 20 May 2005

You've gone way past just thinking there might be something between you.
You're sure of it, and you know they feel the same.
So what's the next step?
Well, it might be to talk to them about it -- to let them know what you're feeling and give them a chance to tell you what's on their mind too.
An invitation to dinner would be a good place to start.
If all goes well, order one dessert and two forks.

problem is: i don't have the number and i am going out of town hahaha

He & She

death is jealous of life

that's why 'he' always surprises 'her' with sudden visits

however beautiful and wonderful life is

she can never resist death

cause they are meant to be

a cycle

a destiny

***

thought of the day

a great health is the greatest wealth

Sunday, 15 May 2005, Jakarta, Indonesia

Syaiful:

a colleague, a friend, a joker

Memories of his

humour, laughter & joy

shall never perish

May he rests in peace

***

irony

why do I always have to go

when happiness greets me hello?

Recipe for happiness

A good health and a bad memory.

...anonymous...

secret box

why you look so gloom?

your eyes lost their glow

where is your smile?

which i miss from a mile

i know nothing about love

but i know something about happiness

it is the memory of you & me

happy together

...

I have lost my religion...

But ...

I shall never lose my faith...

war

war has an end

but

the agony is endless

kingdom of heaven

no races no religions
just you and I
living in harmony
with no shed of blood

no hierarchy no politics
just an abundance sharing
of simple love and kindness

no black no white
just the color of the rainbow
curved across the clear blue sky

amin

As he closes his ears, I have to close my eyes...

In front of the person you like,

your heart beats faster.

In front of the person you love,

your heart glows with happiness.

In front of the person you like,

winter is just a beautiful winter.

In front of the person you love,

winter turns into spring.

If you look into the eyes of the one you like

you blush

But if you look into the eyes of the one you love,

you smile.

In front of the person you like,

you can't say everything on your mind.

But in front of the person you love,

words flow.

In front of the person you like,

you tend to be shy.

But in front of the person you love,

you can show your real self.

You can't look straight into the eyes of the one you like.

You can always smile and stare into the eyes of the one you love.

When the one you like is crying,

you end up comforting.

But when the one you love is crying,

you cry with them.

The feeling of like starts from the ear.

But the feeling of love starts from the eye.

So if you stop liking a person you used to like,

all you need to do is cover your ears.
But if you try to close your eyes,

love turns into a drop of tear

and remains in your heart forever

...friendster...

pop quiz --- take it...

1.are u always serious when it comes to relationships?
>> depends

2. are you afraid of commitment?
>> yea

3. are u a risk taker?
>> yea

4. wat can u say about long distance relationships?
>> NEVER WORK

5. can u luv a person that doesnt love u?
>> no

6. do actions speak louder than words?
>> of course duh!

7. hav u felt/found true love?
>> i thought so but turn out fake

8. how can u say that a person luvs you?
>> if i know i won't be in trouble

9. are you good in handling relationships?
>> bad

10. willing to give everything
>> what is everything?

11. best thing u've learned from loving?
>> it doesnt last long enough for me

12. do u demand ur luv1 to change into someone else?
>> i am too busy for that

13. would u let go of some1 u love?
>> he is free to leave

14. are u a one man woman & vice versa type ofperson?
>> yea


16. how do u express ur luv to sm1?
>> actions and words

17. what is the major reason of a break up?
>> another uglier bitch

18. most important ingredient/s in a relationship?
>> talk, trust and great sex

19. ever regret loving someone?
>> no

20. one thing u hate about love?
>> it makes me weak

21. one thing u like about love?
>> it makes me strong

22. worst thing u did to a love one?
>> fall in love with his bestfriend

23. are you a hopeless romantic?
>> yea

24. do you get tired of loving ?
>> now yea

25. who has changed your view about loving?
>> my youngest ex boyfriend

endless ???

why do i know i am who i am

are you sure i am who i think i am

am I sure that i am who i think i am

how can I be sure I am I am?

how come i am who i am

and exist as who i am now?

when is now?

why am i here?

where is here?

who are you?

..........................................

..............................

i love my family

my mom never calls me anymore

she must be busy with her neighbour

cooking the chicken

cleaning the kitchen

while daddy is smitten

over the new kitten

they must be busy

and i am not a pussy

i am a big girl

rolling in the new my world

not that i hate them

I do miss them

but we are condem

never to have the same term

i love my family

they are better than emily's

at least i can be here

without being near

affection rekindle

and again i long to cuddle

with my papa and my mama

but i would need Grappa

for this to happen

cheers...

congratulation you can READ!!!

sorry for being mean

for i lost my beans

and it is not late

for you to get laid

so why dont you lay your bait

and maybe someone will be there

safe sex buddy

message by: durex (an international rubber federation)

hey you

take care

naive

masquerade loves the stage

with innocent lives at stake

is it human nature

to provoke mother nature?

living with propaganda

reality seen

only through the eyes of malice

begone lazy casual days

arrive dark hours

of negativity and pessimism

fueled with greed and ego

where malice breed

with ease

forever

rotten tomatoes

forgotten shores

nothing last forever

forever never last

live the best we can

while our time last